It sounds like you’ll have to check out the April issue of Rolling Stone, which has a piece explaining the best way to meet Conrad Burns: pretend to be a lobbyist.
Taibbi heads to Burns $500 plate birthday party with a set of fake business cards that say he’s the Government Relations Advisor representing a fictional oil company named “PerDuNefteGaz” (FartOilGas) that wants to drill for oil in the Grand Canyon. Taibbi is told that the magic words to tell the Senator’s team are “my clients seek some regulatory relief.”
The lobbyists at the party, Senator Burn’s staff and the Senator himself all actually take him seriously.
I’m going to miss you, Conrad.