In the spirit of compromise and with a firm belief that we need more solutions and less divisiveness in our education debates, I humbly offer this proposal.
WHEREAS, there is an enormous overlap between people who believe in permitting guns in schools, endorsing discrimination based on religion, drinking unpasteurized milk,teaching Norse mythology as science, and opposing the vaccination of children;
WHEREAS, the vast majority of Montana parents believe in supporting public education but want to accommodate even those with eccentric views;
WHEREAS, the Montana Legislature needs to have more time available each session to debate all of Gary Marbut’s insane gun proposals and not be distracted by school privatization debates every two years;
WHEREAS, the global climate implications of all of the hot air about “school choice” are unmeasured as yet, but certainly substantial,
Be it RESOLVED that the 2015 Montana Legislature fund the development of a private K-12 academy, to be located in Alzada or Yaak, wherein students and teachers are both required to both open and concealed carry 3-5 firearms and wherein students and teachers may not have received vaccinations against any communicable diseases. The Legislature should further mandate that fluoridation of water will not be tolerated, nor will the dissemination of any communist propaganda suggesting that the Founding Fathers ever made one bad decision. Ever. All milk consumed on site will be straight from the cow, because pasterurization is “for French people.” Security will be provided by the one member unit of the Montana Home Guard.