The Conservative Conspiracy Theorist from the Flathead

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Occasionally, I get raked over the coals at another Montana blog for my tendency to label unconventional ideas about current events as conspiracy theories. My frustration with conspiracy theorists is that they merely need to string together a series of coincidences to suggest causation, creating a circular, unbeatable argument that can’t be disproven—because there’s no proof to be found.

But nothing I’ve debated on the liberal side matches the insanity of the conspiracy theories hatched by the right wing—whether it’s that bike lanes are a UN conspiracy to destroy America, time travel to establish President Obama’s birth certificate in Hawaii, or claims that environmentalists are terrorists, the right wing has no shortage of entertaining theories to explain the world. But none that I have read in Montana match the insane ramblings of Pastor, presidential candidate, and white supremacist Chuck Baldwin, who wrote last fall that Joan Rivers was killed by the US government  because she jokingly uncovered that Michelle Obama is a transvestite, a killing conducted by the government just as the Kennedy assassination was a government plot and 9/11 might (probably) have been.

From the 9/11/2014 column:

My question is, what if Joan Rivers actually told the TRUTH about the Obamas? What if it’s true that Barack and Michelle (Or is the name Michael?) really are homosexuals, that Michelle really is a man, and that they have pulled off the greatest political hoax in the history of the United States? The timing of Rivers’ death is an incredible coincidence, if it’s not true. That is for sure.

Rivers went in for what would be regarded as simple out-patient surgery. How many millions of Americans have gone through this, and similar surgeries, without a hitch? Granted, she was 81. But she was a healthy 81. Granted, fluke deaths do sometimes happen during “simple” surgeries. But what a coincidence! The most iconic female comedian in the entire country accuses Michelle Obama of being a transvestite, and less than two months later, she is dead….

Think about it: if people inside our government could successfully carry out the assassination of President John F. Kennedy (and I’m sure they did), how difficult would it be to kill an entertainer, a political activist, or even a congressman? And what if the “dark” side of our government did have a hand in the events that occurred on this day back in 2001?

Why am I recycling a column from last September from Pastor Baldwin? Because I just happened to read it today and it might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read. More importantly, because Baldwin actually has a following in the Flathead and believes that Montana is the “tip of the spear” in his fight for white supremacist values. Why wouldn’t the Montana Republican Party of today love a guy who writes things like this, in his latest column?

For example, the tyrant and betrayer of the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights, Abraham Lincoln, planted the seeds for the globalist Woodrow Wilson, who planted the seeds for the socialist Franklin D. Roosevelt, who planted the seeds for the corrupt Lyndon Baines Johnson, who planted the seeds for the narcissist Bill Clinton, who planted the seeds for Mr. Police State, George W. Bush, who planted the seeds for the Marxist Barack Obama.

That could have come right off of David Howard’s Facebook page.

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About the author

Don Pogreba

Don Pogreba is an eighteen-year teacher of English, former debate coach, and loyal, if often sad, fan of the San Diego Padres and Portland Timbers. He spends far too many hours of his life working at school and on his small business, Big Sky Debate.

His work has appeared in Politico and Rewire.

In the past few years, travel has become a priority, whether it's a road trip to some little town in Montana or a museum of culture in Ísafjörður, Iceland.

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Don PogrebaLarry Kralj, Environmental RangersLKlizard19 Recent comment authors
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Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers
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Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers

Poor, poor Pastord Chucky “cheesey” Bulbdim MISSED the major war event of our generation, Vietnam. Who knows why. Maybe he had a cyst on his ass like Flush Blimpaugh, I dunno. But what I DO know is that chucky cheesey bulbdim is suffering from PTWS, Post Traumatic Wussy Syndrome! He simply can’t live with himself for being a draft dodgin’ wussy coward! As a result, Chucky is attempting to recreate the Alamo with himself as the Davy Crocket of white guys! It’s all really, really sad. And entertaining! I feel his pain! Not really, for I served. Too bad that… Read more »

lizard19
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lizard19

my latest conspiracy theory is that your recent trolling of 4&20 Blackbirds was an attempt to advertise that you’re once again blogging consistently. sometimes, though, your blogging is useful, and I’m happy to direct people to those posts.

LK
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LK

Your brilliance is exceeded only by your flatulence! And like ms. fiddler, you came here to rescue us Montanans from ourselves! For you, and only you, have the magic to do so! Too funny.

Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers
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Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers

I feel kinda sorry for Pastord Bulbdim, for THIS is what happened at his last reenactment ceremony. It left Chucky traumatized!, for the reenactment got a leetle to real for a traitor like chucky cheesey! Chucky wants his country back, the old south! What a great addition to Montana inbredness is Pastord Bulbdim and his flock of inbred flockers! They have SO much to offer us, like their family “values”!

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