Montana Politics Ryan Zinke The Media

Last Minute Christmas Ideas from Intelligent Discontent

Written by Don Pogreba
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While traditionally Santa brought a lump of coal to naughty children, these cretins would burn it just to increase aggregate global temperatures, so I’d like to suggest one ounce of common sense and human decency to Ed Butcher and Matthew Monforton, who have proposed a nonsensical ballot initiative that will, in addition to its rootin’, tootin’, nullifyin’ language, actually incentivize not having insurance.

If you have a lump of coal just lying about, though, I’m sure either Tim Fox or his out-of-state attorneys would love it.

For Judge Baugh of Billings, who made the news today for patronizing sexism after a summer of horrifying sexism, a copy of Feminism is for Everybody might be a welcome read.

For John Bohlinger, I’d like to suggest the gift of a campaign strategist who’s actually working in his interest and who can manage to stay consistent on a single policy during the campaign. For his stocking, a coherent position on reproductive rights would be nice, too.

Commissioner of Political Practices Jonathan Motl could use law enforcement and prosecutors willing to aggressively pursue the cases of campaign finance fraud he refers after investigation. He’s more than willing to investigate these people undermining the democratic process in Montana; now we need to enforce those laws aggressively.

What do you give the candidate who has everything, including a verified Twitter account? I bet Ryan Zinke wouldn’t say no to another totally independent Super PAC to assist his floundering campaign for the US House.

Some polling data revealing that the TEA Party only represents a small fraction of Montanans would make an excellent gift for Representative Steve Daines and the rest of us he’s paid to represent in Washington.

For Senator Jeff Essman, an ear trumpet and a copy of Montana’s rules for parliamentary procedure would make excellent gifts.

For the overworked and undercompensated reporter in your life, a few thousands shares of Lee Enterprises stock are always appreciated.

About the author

Don Pogreba

Don Pogreba is a eighteen-year teacher of English, former debate coach, and loyal, if often sad, fan of the San Diego Padres and Portland Timbers. He spends far too many hours of his life working at school and on his small business, Big Sky Debate.

His work has appeared in Politico and Rewire.

In the past few years, travel has become a priority, whether it’s a road trip to some little town in Montana or a museum of culture in Ísafjörður, Iceland.

2 Comments

  • Haha! These are funny Don. Favorite is Zinke, I almost DIED laughing when I saw his excitement over his verified twitter account. WOW! Is he out of touch with what’s going on today. Hey Zinkster, there are about 300 million verified Twitter accounts, it’s not really an exclusive club….you’re a 55 year old trapped in an 80 year old mans brain. Oh wait, the pope got a twitter account ages ago. Never mind, you’re just trapped. Period.

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