My Three Favorite Parts of the State of the Union

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Let’s continue our assault on the public schools:

To open the doors of these schools to more children, I ask you to support a new $300 million program called Pell Grants for Kids. We have seen how Pell Grants help low-income college students realize their full potential. Together, we have expanded the size and reach of these grants. Now let’s apply that same spirit to help liberate poor children trapped in failing public schools.”

Liberate the poor children? Liberate? Given that Bush had liberated these children from the burden of reading programs to help achieve, it’s certainly interesting that he wants to liberate them from their schools. It’s so frustrating to see a potentially revolutionary reform of schools so driven by a narrow-minded, right wing agenda to destroy public schools.

Let’s blame the behavior of Africans for getting AIDS:

America is leading the fight against disease. With your help, we are working to cut by half the number of malaria-related deaths in 15 African nations. And our Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief is treating 1.4 million people. We can bring healing and hope to many more. So I ask you to maintain the principles that have changed behavior and made this program a success. And I call on you to double our initial commitment to fighting HIV/AIDS by approving an additional $30 billion over the next 5 years.

Wow. Did Jerry Falwell write that line straight from Hell? I thought that demonizing the people who suffer with HIV and AIDS went away in, oh, I don’t know, 1984. And for what it’s worth, Bush’s rigid adherence to behavioral modification costs lives and prevents access to health care. Just ask the health care workers who are seeing efforts undermined by Bush’s mandated abstinence programs and the millions of women denied reproductive health care under the Global Gag Rule.

Let’s use totally inappropriate warlike metaphors for illusory humanitarian aid:

Tonight the armies of compassion continue the march to a new day in the Gulf Coast. America honors the strength and resilience of the people of this region.

Armies? Compassion? War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Oh, and maybe some day one of the 22 firehouses destroyed in New Orleans will be rebuilt.

One more favorite part. The end. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel for this, the worst modern American presidency. That certainly deserves a standing ovation.

About the author

Don Pogreba

Don Pogreba is a eighteen-year teacher of English, former debate coach, and loyal, if often sad, fan of the San Diego Padres and Portland Timbers. He spends far too many hours of his life working at school and on his small business, Big Sky Debate.

His work has appeared in Politico and Rewire.

In the past few years, travel has become a priority, whether it’s a road trip to some little town in Montana or a museum of culture in Ísafjörður, Iceland.

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